Why 2022…

blurry West Kirby Art Centre music hall

… was so different and so tough, at least for Ms Eclectic Mind? True to be told, Veronika was disappearing, seriously. She was becoming more and more pale, see through, weakened, misbalanced (not sure if this word is the correct one, yet this word describes nicely how her world was badly balanced) and tired, gosh the constant exhaustion! Unbearable. Unsatisfactory. Unneeded! What is more, Veronika had no idea what is happening with her. She found out after many months that she is actually ill (please, no pity! The time of suffering, confusion and frustration is over). B12 deficiency. Her body stopped absorb B12 from her diet (which consist of sources of B12), no idea why and what was the trigger (there may be many reasons, each of them minor, yet combined together… catastrophe).

Thus, everything (work, side projects, fun) slowed down, or came to an end because Veronika’s cognition and stamina were gone (for few months there was just an empty shell). Looking back, there was just a tiny flame of life, sacredly guarded not only by her, but also by her partner (who never stopped believe in her and her ability to get better) and close friends (who helped her to stop searching and trying to move, they helped her to realise that she needs to focus of her wellbeing and stop everything unimportant). How she felt? Lost. Why? She could not create sentences (which was overpowering, because Veronika believes in power of words and communication, thus to not be able to express herself and understand others was a persistent torture), her memory became unreliable (also not funny when you relay on your ability to plan ahead and remembering what is happening around), she was so weak that her fine motor coordination was impaired (she had too many small accidental injuries, she walk stairs as her grandma – foot by foot and holding a rail, etc.) and she became anxious (not knowing what is happening and disappearing in front of her own eyes was horrific). Hence, enough of this tragic part of her story!

B12 treatment started in mid October 2022. Finally (no more needs to be said). Veronika started to feel herself again in December, which was scary because long forgotten memories reappeared, and so she became fully aware how poorly she was (and how stubbornly she was carrying all tasks on and on, utter nonsense). Anyway, year 2023 started better than 2022. Veronika is again filled with ideas, anticipation and mischievous sparkle in her eyes. She feels happy being herself again… she was lost for over a year, thus positive attitude, holistic approach and joy in little things are ruling 2023!

Thank you all, dear listeners, nocturnal creatures, and friends & family, for your support! Wishing you year of success and good health (free of sorrow, pain and suffering)!

Ms Eclectic Mind hiding behind monstera deliciousa leave, in black & white